Best-laid plans
February 16th, 2008
Troy’s dad passed away yesterday morning.
I was helping Annalie sign the valentines we made for her daddy and grandparents and Troy was relaxing with a cup of coffee when his stepmom called to tell him. It was not a death any of us expected.
We had just arrived at Carol & Tom’s (Troy’s mom and stepdad’s) house in South Texas the night before. Our vacation was clearly going to be interrupted, but we spent the day going about our plans: doughnuts and coffee in the morning, swimming in the afternoon, chuck wagon dinner at the rec hall followed by ice cream cake for Tom’s birthday with Tom’s sisters and brother-in-law. Throughout the day Troy had many phone conversations with his stepmom and his sisters, working out the details of the days ahead.
Keith, over the past year, had been working to set his affairs in order. His mother, Troy’s granny, passed away about a year ago at the age of 97. I think dealing with all of the finances and details after her death was a little frustrating, and Keith decided to get his own life in order so his kids wouldn’t have to deal the same thing when he died. So he’d been talking to Troy and his sisters over the course of the past few months about such details, and the last time we saw him he gave Troy a list of all his financial and insurance accounts with numbers and names and whom-to-call-in-case-of. Now we wonder if maybe he had a vague sense that his time was growing short.
I have a fantastic photo of Keith I wanted to put in this post, but I don’t have it, because it’s on the hard drive at home. It’s a shot I took last summer of Keith sitting in a chair in his living room, in silhouette against the sun coming in through the windows, gesturing as he made a point about some local politician or told me one of his awful jokes. That’s how I will most remember Keith: in lively conversation. He loved to talk, to anyone at all. He had daily chats with the people at the gas station where he filled the car with gas and bought his daily newspaper, the checker at the grocery store, the neighbors walking their dogs. He loved to argue and laugh and hear what you thought so he could tell you why you were wrong and argue some more.
We’re on our way to Omaha now. The funeral is Monday.
February 16th, 2008 at 10:19 am
Oh, I’m so sorry.
February 16th, 2008 at 10:24 am
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
February 16th, 2008 at 10:36 am
Oh, Bethany! My heart is breaking - what an awful thing to have happen, especially mid-vacation. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers here.
February 16th, 2008 at 11:05 am
Oh Bethany! That’s terrible! I’m so sorry for your loss. We’ll be praying for y’all.
February 16th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Wow… that is pretty amazing timing with him putting things in order. My thoughts are with you and I’m glad that you have such a nice memory to associate with him right now.
February 16th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Oh. He sounds like a really interesting person!
Give your husband a hug from me (okay, that sounds weird… a polite hug, not a sexy one!).
February 16th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
All my love at this really hard time!
February 16th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
i’m sorry to read about your loss. i’m thinking of you and your entire family. take care of yourself.
February 16th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
So sorry to hear of your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you, it’s never an easy thing to deal with.
ps. Love that picture of Annalie.
February 16th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Sad news, my condolences to Troy and all of you.
February 16th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Oh, I am so sorry!!
Hugs and prayers to you!
February 16th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Hugs and prayers to you and yours.
February 16th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
I’m so sorry to hear about your father-in-law Bethany.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Fred
February 16th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
I’m so sorry to hear about Troy’s father. How unexpected and how sad. I hope you get through the next few days with grace and lots of love. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
February 16th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss. Wishing you a safe trip and happy remembering. My thoughts are with you and your family.
February 16th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Thoughts, love and prayers sent your way.
February 16th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Oh Bethany, so sorry to hear of your loss. Wishing you a safe trip home and will be thinking of you.
February 17th, 2008 at 12:30 am
I am so sorry for your loss. I’ll be thinking of you guys.
February 17th, 2008 at 1:53 am
oh no, what sad news :( I’m so sorry :(
February 17th, 2008 at 2:22 am
Give Troy a hug for me. I’m so glad he has you and Annalie during this time…such a sweet, sweet man with such an amazing family of his own.
February 17th, 2008 at 4:17 am
Thinking of you all Bethany.
May your trip be safe….
February 17th, 2008 at 8:36 am
I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. I hope you are able to find comfort and solace in each other during this time.
February 17th, 2008 at 9:40 am
I’m sorry to hear of the loss of your father-in-law. A loss is never easy, but I’m sure it can be especially difficult when it is unexpected. Your family will be in my thoughts.
February 17th, 2008 at 11:23 am
so sorry to hear that :( he sounds like a wonderful man, may the memories grow even richer. prayers for you all.
February 17th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
My thoughts are with you and yours, Bethany.
February 17th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
I’m so sorry. My prayers are with you.
February 17th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
February 18th, 2008 at 3:33 am
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February 18th, 2008 at 11:38 am
Oh Bethany. I’m so sorry for you all. Take care. You are in my thoughts!
February 19th, 2008 at 7:06 am
Dear Bethany,
I was so sorry to hear of your father-in-laws passing. I am praying for you and your family during this difficult time. I know how hard it is to make little ones, like your daughter, understand it all. May all the memories you and your sweet husband share bring you comfort. Hugs from Connecticut, USA,
RedHeadMamma
February 19th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Oh Bethany. This is what I get for being away from the computer for a few days.
[[hugs]] for you, Troy, and Annalie, and Troy’s family. I haven’t even read the comments prior to mine but I’m sure that I’m repeating when I say I’m here if you need anything.
Sending good vibes & well-wishes your way. ♥
February 19th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
My sincere sympathies to you and Troy and family, Bethany. There is never a good time for things like this to happen, but he seemed to be getting prepared. Bless him.
JoAnn (Jackjoann123 - Flickr)
February 21st, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Just popped my head in to see this. I am so sorry. My Dad knew in advance of his death too, but he only told my Mom kind of off-handedly. She didn’t even think about it until several days after he had passed away. I think some people just *know*. My girlfriend knew too…she gave her mother a ring to ‘remember her by’ two weeks before she died in a tragic golf cart accident. I’d like to believe that Keith knew and had accepted it. I know today, seven years later, that I feel better knowing my Dad had made his peace with the world prior to his passing. I’m betting that Keith did the same thing in his own way. I’m sending you vibes of comfort, understanding and clarity at this time when you need it most. God Bless my friends.