Today I was an impatient, easily-angered mess. I’m going to blame a combination of hormones, too little sleep, reading and thinking about this post of Loralee’s, and Troy being gone. Not to mention that Annalie was being rather challenging today, growling at me or calling me stupid when she didn’t like what I said. Clearly I don’t want her to think it’s okay to talk to anyone like that, so we had several stern conversations and I ended up losing my temper during one of those chats.

I apologized to Annalie for speaking sharply to her and explained that I was having a sad, bad day. She kindly patted my arm and said, “It’s okay Mama, when I don’t feel good I have bad days too.” At least we weren’t both having a bad day.

Then bedtime came and I let Annalie stay up longer than I should have. By the time I laid down with her for prayers she was overtired and giddy, bouncing off the walls and having trouble settling down. Normally I stay in the bedroom singing lullabies or hymns till she’s asleep but tonight that clearly was keeping her awake and her antics were annoying me, so I decided to give myself a five-minute time-out in the other room. I kissed her good night and told her I’d be back to check on her soon. She wasn’t happy about that and I could hear her crying for a couple of minutes—that’s when I took the above photo, thinking a photo that showed my annoyance and frustration would be an accurate representation of my day.

But then I went into the bedroom to check on her and she was snuggled up with Brownie Bear, almost asleep. I quietly sang one more song, kissed her and told her I loved her, and was rewarded with a drowsy, “I love you too, Mama,” before she zonked completely out. I decided that that was the moment I wanted to document.

And really, despite my moodiness today wasn’t a bad day at all. We’ve developed a tradition of having a breakfast of doughnuts and lattes on Snail Mountain with Brenda and Bug while they’re here visiting, and last night after they’d gone home Annalie realized we’d missed out on doing that this time. I suggested we could do that today, just me and her. She really liked that idea.

Photo by Annalie, age 4

We had fun climbing around on some rocks we don’t normally climb on, and saw a bunch of swallowtail butterflies swooping about in addition to enjoying the scenery and our delicious doughnuts. And later this afternoon we did some alfresco painting with watercolors on the deck while the cats watched. We even strung up some twine on the deck so we could hang watercolor paintings up to dry, and watched a praying mantis who sat on the ceiling of the deck all afternoon.

It wasn’t a bad day at all when I look back on it. But I still am very happy that Troy will be home tomorrow. That alone will make it a much better day than today!

Anna, your bowl is waiting in my Etsy shop for you! I would like to assure you that despite the way it looks in the pictures, it’s actually more of an orangey-coral color on the outside. It’s definitely not pink.

Also, the black paint that accidentally got swiped onto the edge? It’s about 99% gone. There is a teeny bit left, just enough so you can look at it and know that Brenda felt compelled to leave her mark on your bowl.

When I went to pick up Anna’s bowl and the other things we painted last weekend, I painted another plate! The Over-Thinker liked Rhi’s plate so much, she requested I paint her a similar one in fall colors. Troy had some errands to run this afternoon on base, so he took Annalie with him. It was my first time painting by myself since we moved here, so I got an iced latte from Starbucks and settled in for a relaxing afternoon.

The only sort-of bad thing about it was that I didn’t have all the colors I wanted. So far I am fairly pleased with Paint & Fire, which is saying something because I really loved Paint ‘N Pottery in Maryland. The major complaint I have so far is that there are only about one-third as many colors of paint here. When I was thinking about what autumn colors to use on this plate, I was picturing about 20 different shades at Paint ‘N Pottery. I know where they would be located on the shelves, I even know some of their names. But at Paint & Fire, my choices were much more limited. So I, uh, mixed up some custom paints. I really really hope they turn out okay!

When I got home from the studio Troy was getting dressed for a Navy function. There was a dining-out, which meant he had to wear one of his formal dinner dress uniforms. That doesn’t happen very often, so of course he had to spend the last couple of days tracking down all the pieces of the uniform (cummerbund, mini-medals, the right shoes, etc.) which were scattered between two closets with the shoes being in a random box. Once he was all put together, he looked quite dashing. But before I could tell him so, Annalie spoke up.

“Daddy!” she said. “You look just like a ship’s first mate!”

After Troy had left, Annalie asked if we could go up to Snail Mountain. I said sure, why not? When we got there, for some reason Annalie made a beeline for the side of the stadium that we never walk on and asked what was back there. I said, “I don’t know. Let’s go find out!”

We found a trail that led around to a bunch of big rocks. It was like a beginning climber’s dream, because the rocks were mostly flat and piled on top of one another in such a way that it was easy to step from rock to rock. I would tell you that I was extremely careful and helped Annalie each step of the way, but I can’t tell you that because I could barely keep up with her! She did have to stop at one point and wait for me to lift her onto the next rock because it was too high for her to climb up. Once we reached the rocks at the top, we were only a few feet away from the low stone wall at the top that encircles the area around the cross.

I wish we could have stayed and climbed around some more, but we had to get home so Annalie could go to bed. She had a full day with no nap, and tomorrow we’re getting up early for a train-riding adventure! When did our lives get so busy?

Good thing we like it this way. Busy days make happy people around here. As long as we get an occasional day to sit around and watch TV and make cookies and read in our pajamas, we’re good.

And we’re very glad he is!

Well, he’s back in town, anyway. Since Troy has duty tonight and can’t actually come home till morning, we picked up pizza and went to have dinner with him on the ship.

I used to do that all the time before Annalie was born. Depending on the ship he was on and his rank at the time, Troy would have duty anywhere from every five days to two weeks. So I’d drive to the base after work or class, pick up our usual order at the taco place inside the gate, and head to the ship. Sometimes I brought food I’d cooked, and when I did that I usually made sure to bring extra in case any other officers happened to wander through the wardroom looking hungry. Back in those days, we might watch a show on TV and I would usually stay as late as I could, till all visitors had to be off the ship at 10pm.

There was one Valentine’s Day early in our marriage—it might have even been the first one after we were married—when Troy had duty. So he and another officer who had duty that night, Danny, concocted a grand plan that Danny called Operation Get-Out-Of-Doghouse. They invited me and Erin, Danny’s wife, to come to the ship for dinner and a movie. They assured us that we didn’t have to bring a thing, that they’d take care of everything.

They asked the Mess Specialists (this was before they were called Culinary Specialists) who were on duty that night to make a special Valentine’s Day dinner: Chicken Cordon Bleu, roasted potatoes, broccoli, and a dessert. And oh man, did those MSes outdo themselves!

In case anyone is getting worked up at the idea of taxpayer money being spent on a fancy dinner for officers’ wives, let me assure you that (1) the dinner wasn’t that fancy, and (2) Erin and I had to pay for our meals, as all guests who eat on a ship do.

Usually the cooks on a ship are feeding a ton of people and the food tends to be decent but not anything amazing. But these guys are all really well-trained for their jobs, and given the chance to shine, they sure do. I still remember how delicious that chicken was! They even put a white tablecloth out for us, used the nice ship’s china and silverware, and acted as our servers (which they don’t always do). It was clear that they were totally getting a kick out of the whole thing and enjoying themselves just as much as we were.

Danny and Troy also had flowers for each of us, a DVD player with CDs to listen to, movies to watch after dinner, and I seem to recall candles on the table too. Since Danny and Erin were good friends of ours the conversation was lively and punctuated with frequent laughter. I think about that dinner sometimes, about how that could have been a melancholy, unmemorable Valentine’s Day and another mark against the Navy in our memories…but instead it was a fun, memorable evening that showed me being a Navy wife doesn’t have to be one long struggle.

The times when Troy is gone aren’t easy, especially now that we have Annalie. We both miss him terribly when he’s gone. Being a single parent even temporarily is quite humbling and has given me a new level of respect for full-time single parents. It makes me realize how much I rely on Troy for support and help when he’s here. When Troy is gone, I am the only adult in the house. If I don’t load and unload the dishwasher, remember to take the trash to the alley the night before trash pick-up, clean the litterboxes, pay the bills on time…it doesn’t get done. Of course, I do many of those things anyway, but most of the time Troy is there to pick up the chores I miss. Just knowing I have back-up lightens the load.

Many people have told me that they have no idea how I do it, how anyone who’s married to a military member manages all the time apart. My answer is always the same: I just do it, because being married to Troy in the Navy is better than not being married to Troy at all. And there is the fact that before we were married, Troy assured me that if I ever decided I just couldn’t stand the Navy life anymore, he would get out in a heartbeat. He made the decision before he even met me that his family would always come before his career. Heck, that’s half the reason I married him.

I’ve learned over the years that I am strong enough, that Troy and I are strong enough together, to weather the separations. We have lots of people praying for us and supporting us. I’m smart enough to plan distractions for myself, like inviting friends to visit or traveling to visit them or having fun adventures at the mall.

But above all, the most important thing that helps me stay sane when Troy is gone on long deployments is that ships no longer have to rely on snail mail as their main means of communication. Thank God for email!