This is a bowl I painted for Bex and Jeremy. Bex commissioned me to paint it and probably thought she was going to pay for it, but they just got engaged and I was going to give it to them as an engagement present. I’ve had it all wrapped carefully in bubble wrap and sitting in a box for the past week, just waiting for me to make another batch of apricot cookies so I could include a few of those in the box. Last night I baked, so tonight I thought I’d finish getting the package ready to mail.

When I picked up the box, one of the flaps caught on something, and before I could stop it the box tipped sideways and the bowl flipped out and landed upside-down on the hardwood floor. I held my breath as I picked it up, not sure what I’d find, because I’ve dropped pottery before from greater heights with no harm done. But this time it was broken into many pieces plus dozens of chips and a fine layer of dust. It wasn’t even superglueable.

I’m sorry, Bex and Jeremy. It’s going to be a little while longer before I can ship your bowl to you. *Sigh.*

This sort of sums up my week, actually. I’m not sure which is worse: going into the holiday season with a cold, or thinking right up till the afternoon of Christmas Eve that I was going to have a healthy, snot-free Christmas for once and then getting knocked FLAT by a cold. I was over the worst of it by the end of Christmas Day, but I’m still coughing and sleeping more than normal and feeling worn-down. Annalie was sick all this week, too. It was pretty much a bummer. Bah humbug.

The good news is, it’s almost the weekend. And Troy has leave all next week. So at least I’ll be able to catch up on my 7 Days posts, and go paint another bowl soon.

I was talking to Troy last night about how life just feels so…relentless lately. Of course having a toddler in the house, even one who (touchwoodfingerscrossedtwirlaroundthreetimesandclucklikeachicken) is mostly sleeping through the night, is a lot of work. Troy is still working long hours. I’m still homeschooling Annalie. And it’s the holidays, which means extra items on everyone’s to-do list. Especially with the days getting dark so early, it seems like I am constantly running behind, that I never reach the end of my list.

Troy suggested that maybe right now, just for a little while, I need to cut back on one or two things. I agreed that sounded good in theory. Then I realized: I’m two weeks behind on Flickring photos (which I do mainly for the grandparents, so I’m feeling bad about that). I hadn’t blogged in eight days. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d worked on any of the three big crocheting projects in progress. Aside from some Christmas treats, I’ve barely even cooked dinner in weeks.

Yes, I wrote backwards on my hand just to remind you. You’re welcome.

Now I’m thinking that part of my problem is that I have not been doing much of anything creative lately. Luckily, it’s almost time for 7 Days again. (Note that it starts in the middle of the week this time, this coming Wednesday, the 21st.) That always provides a much-needed jolt of creative energy, not to mention it’s like a quarterly reunion of old friends at this point.

Whatever. It’s life, sometimes it’s crazy, sometimes it’s CRAZY, and usually it’s fun. Christmas is only a week away, and (throwsaltovermyshoulderwishonastarwearsomegarlic) we’re all healthy. We’re not traveling this year so we’re avoiding that stress. Things will get better and I’ll crochet and blog and cook more again someday. This is only a season.

And hey, it’s a season with lots of pretty lights to enjoy.

I got nothin’ right now.

I kind of hate myself for even thinking about writing this post, complete with an artsy nature photo, about how blah and tired I’ve been lately, and how there are a million things I could and should be doing instead of sitting on the couch after the kids are in bed. (The artsy nature photo itself is pretty cool, though; Annalie took it, which makes it that much cooler.) Yet here I am writing it. Bleargh.

Troy’s been working ridiculously long hours for months now and we’re all fraying at the edges because of it. Elliora still isn’t sleeping through the night and the lack of sleep is taking its toll on me and my patience levels. Annalie insists on acting like a seven-year-old (the nerve!). I’m always a few steps behind the mess that’s taking over the house. We could be moving as soon as February but don’t have orders yet so we can’t plan anything past January. I have a mile-long list of crochet projects I need to tackle but hardly any time or desire to crochet. I want to blog—I have so many posts in my head—but I never seem to get any of them actually written. One or both of the cats keep pooping on the floor next to the litter box. There is a new yet old ongoing family drama that is breaking my heart and making me lose sleep when I don’t have any to spare. Blah, blah, blah.

All this stuff is combining lately into a perfect storm that leaves me exhausted and frustrated in its wake. It’s overwhelming, and I tend to go a little numb when I think about it too much. I don’t even want to be writing this post about it except it’s driving me crazy that I can’t write the posts I want to write so I’m writing this one to explain why.

I know a lot of this is because of Troy’s crazy job right now, and more of it is because I have a baby, and that both of those things are temporary. I know that someday I will feel more like myself again, that this too shall pass. But oh, I’ll be annoyed about it until it does.

What’s annoying you right now? Let’s have a b!tch-fest. Those always make me feel better! Misery loves company.