Remember my friend Stephanie‘s little girl Samantha who was sick with meningits, the one I crocheted the blanket for? Well, the latest news is not good, which is an understatement.

The infection ate away most of Samantha’s brain tissue before it was under control. About a week ago they met with all their doctors and specialists to go over what was in store for them. They decided it was time to take Sammy home, to just enjoy their daughter as much as they could, and let as many of their friends and family meet her and hold her as possible. They have hospice nurses helping them out at home, and they are administering medications to keep Sammy as comfortable as possible during these final days.

These past weeks I’ve spent a lot of time thinking of and praying for my friends and their sweet baby girl, whom I will likely never get to meet this side of heaven. I’ve thought about how excited I was for Stephanie and Travis to watch their daughter grow up, how I thought it was cool she was born a day after my birthday, how fun it would be that our babies were close in age and how when we visited them this fall on our way to see Troy’s parents it would be neat to introduce our girls to each other. I think about all those things with grief now, and I know that my grief is so very tiny compared to theirs.

I remember how scary it was when Elliora was first admitted to the hospital last December, before we knew it was RSV and they were doing every test under the sun, including a lumbar puncture to check for meningitis. Sometimes when I’m thinking about Samantha I look down at Elliora as she nurses or sleeps on me, and know it could have just as easily happened to her. There but for the grace of God, I think, and breathe a prayer of thanks at the same time I am crying for my friends.

Loss is a fact of life. I know way too many people who’ve lost babies, and they’re all awful, tragic losses. This one is hitting me harder than most for some reason. Maybe because of Elliora’s time in the hospital and my own brief, terrifying glimpse of what it would be like to stand at the edge of that chasm of pain and grief. I think this is part of why I’ve been having such a hard time blogging lately, actually.

I’m so thankful that Travis and Stephanie are people of deep faith. I’m grateful that they’re being supported by so many loved ones and comforted by the many, many people praying for them. And I’m so glad I sent the blanket when I did. I won’t get to hug Samantha or hold her but something I created has kept her warm and brightened her bed.

If you want to read more about Samantha or leave a message for her parents, you can go here, to Samantha Pittock’s CaringBridge.

It’s been at least a month now since I’ve managed to blog about anything in a timely manner, and I hate it. It hate how many photos I’ve taken and posts I’ve written in my head that will probably never be published here, because eventually it gets to the point where we just have to move on. I hate it because they’re stories I wanted to tell, and because I’ll probably forget most of them if I don’t write them down.

I kind of hate that I’m writing this post about it, too. It’s so eye-rollingly meta and just plain boring when people blog about how they never have time to blog anymore. Yet here I am, doing that very thing. Arrggh.

I know I have good reasons for being a bad blogger right now. I know I have other things to do. I’m taking care of my family, first of all. I cook meals, I do laundry, I read stories and drive to gymnastics class and feed the cats. I have a baby who eats three meals a day now, which takes up a surprisingly large chunk of time each day. I’ve been busy traveling and entertaining out-of-town guests, which was super fun but frankly exhausting; I’m sure the guests would agree.

I have two baby blankets in progress and am planning to crochet two more before the summer’s over. I’ve painted a half-dozen custom-order mugs recently and have more to paint when I get the chance. I’m frittering away the usual amount of time reading blogs and watching TV, plus additional hours catching up on Fringe. And that’s only the very tippiest-top of the iceberg. Like everyone else I know—except maybe Diane Court—I’m monumentally busy.

But still. I miss blogging.

Before we left for Omaha, I mailed this blanket off to Samantha in Texas. I hope and pray she gets the chance to use it for years to come.

Sammy is still in need of prayers, and so are her parents Stephanie and Travis. In the week since they figured out she has bacterial meningitis, she’s made some good progress but also had a few sobering setbacks. The strain of bacteria causing the disease was not the kind that is resistant to antibiotics, so that was great news. She was having seizures (not uncommon for infants with meningitis, I gather) so underwent an MRI, which showed extensive brain damage. She developed encephalitis. Then a lumbar puncture showed the white cell count was down, meaning the infection was under control, and they began to wean Sammy from the vent. A second MRI revealed the disease had progressed to ventriculitis, many infarctions, and that the brain damage seems to have grown more extensive.

Even though Stephanie and Travis (who is a Lutheran pastor) have great faith and are being supported by their friends and family and uplifted by the knowledge that people all over the world are thinking of them and praying for their little girl, this has to feel like a nightmare. They can’t protect their baby girl. They can only trust God and the doctors and hope for the best.

Thank you for your prayers so far. If you have a moment, please say a prayer, make a wish, light a candle, or WHATEVER for Samantha and her family. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I know Stephanie and Travis would thank you too.

UPDATE 5/1/2011: GOOD NEWS! Sammy was weaned off the respirator and oxygen and is breathing on her own. And, she was moved from the ICU to an intermediary room where her parents can stay in the room with her. They still have a long road ahead of them but things are looking up. Woohoo! Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers for them!