I had a long night last night. I was awake for hours, having irregular Braxton Hicks contractions. That is totally normal at this point in a pregnancy; it’s called pre-term labor, and it’s just my body sort of practicing for the upcoming birth. But that doesn’t make it any less annoying to not be able to get to sleep. I did all the stuff you’re supposed to do to get rid of Braxton Hicks: got up and walked around, had a couple of glasses of water, ate something, laid on the couch with my feet up and a warm rice pack on my stomach and watched an episode of Bones. Around 4am the contractions finally stopped and I went back to bed.

Because today is Saturday, I was able to sleep in a bit, but by 9 o’clock I was awake. I needed to get up anyway. We have some cleaning and laundry to do so we’re ready for our long-anticipated guests when they arrive Tuesday.

Annalie and I also needed to do some school, since we didn’t quite finish yesterday, just reading and a spelling test. Unfortunately, even though she’s doing really well at reading, those are probably the two subjects Annalie likes the least right now. It’s funny to me, and hard to comprehend, since reading and spelling were always my two easiest and favorite subjects.

But it didn’t surprise me when I called for Annalie to come to the table, telling her we needed to get reading and spelling done, and she came stomping into the dining room in a snit. I remained calm and asked her to take off her Little Mermaid singing necklace and put down the cell phone that she was carrying, since we don’t allow toys at the table when we’re doing school. She yanked the necklace off her neck and threw it on the floor at the same time that she slammed the cell phone down hard on the counter.

I calmly told her that she needed to go sit on the top step for a time-out, because she knows better than to throw things. And…well, let’s just say the situation deteriorated from there. Over the next hour, there was some crying, some yelling, and some stomping around—and I’m not going to tell you who did what, but I will tell you that I did not remain calm. We managed to get part of the reading done, but then Annalie went to get herself a drink of water from the fridge dispenser and accidentally-on-purpose let the cup fill and overflow, soaking two photographs and a picture one of Annalie’s friends colored for her.

That was when I sort of lost it. I asked Annalie what on earth was wrong with her, and told her to just go, to get out of my sight. She ran out of the kitchen crying, knowing she had done something wrong but also hurt that her normally patient mother had told her to get lost. Frustrated with Annalie and myself, I tossed the ruined pictures, grabbed a bunch of paper towels and started sopping up the water.

Troy came into the kitchen to see what was going on. I explained what had happened and told him that I was not having a good day, that I just needed to go back to bed, that I didn’t think I was in any shape to meet a friend for pottery-painting that afternoon. Troy suggested I email and ask if we could reschedule, so I did. (Thanks again for being so understanding, Shayne!)

Troy went to talk to Annalie in her room while I went to our bedroom and, after putting away the folded laundry all over my side of the bed, curled up with my ridiculously huge pregnancy pillow pulled the covers up over my head, bracing myself for what I knew I needed to do: cry. Even though I know sometimes it’s necessary to make myself feel better, I really hate crying. And I knew I had a cry coming, so I just wanted to get it over with.

A few minutes later, I was wiping my face and debating whether I wanted to roll over and get a tissue or just sniff hard, when Annalie came quietly into the room and climbed up on the bed. She got under the covers and put her head next to mine on the pillow and said, “I’m sorry I spilled water all over the fridge, Mama. And I’m sorry you’re having a rough morning. Daddy explained it to me.”

I put my arm around her, gave her a kiss, and told her I loved her. I apologized for losing my temper; she said she forgave me. We laid there talking idly for a couple of minutes when I had an idea.

“Hey Annalie, can you tell me how to spell egg?”

“Sure! E-g-g.”

“Right. Do you think you could tell me how to spell, oh, the word pets?”

Quietly to herself, Annalie sounded it out, “Puh-eh-tuh-sss…” then spelled it for me. I told her she was right. She was silent for a second, then giggled and asked, “Is this my spelling test?”

My response was to ask her if she knew how to spell less. She giggled again and spelled it perfectly. We went through all the rest of her spelling words that way, and she got every single one right, even the trickiest one, give.

When we were finished, I asked if she would go get her reading book so she could read her story a second time. She groaned a bit, so I sighed theatrically and said, “You know what would really make me feel so much better right now? If only someone could read me a story about ducks and chicks.” Annalie laughed at that. I told her to go tell Daddy she’d gotten 100% on her spelling test, and then come back to me with her reading book.

Laughing, she leapt off the bed and went running down the hall, calling out excitedly, “Daddy, Daddy! I got one hundred percent right on my spelling test! Not on my dry-erase board, but with my mouth! I even got the hardest word right, wanna hear? G-i-v-e! That spells give!”

She came back to the bedroom with her book and read through her story again, this time without me pointing at the words as she read, with good expression, and with almost no faltering or errors. I thanked her and praised her improvement on the second reading. She smiled and batted her lashes in that I-know-I’m-smart-but-you-can-tell-me-again way she has. I told her we were done with school, that she could go play.

She kissed me on the cheek and said, “Thanks, Mom!”

A few minutes later I got up. I got a phone call from another friend and made plans to meet her and her kids later for dinner and frozen custard while Troy watches the Nebraska game in peace. Annalie got dressed all in black and stuck a scarf in the back of her pants and went outside to be a cat while Troy raked up some leaves. I poured myself a cup of coffee and took a deep breath.

16 Responses to “long night rough morning sunny afternoon”

  1. bonnie says:

    Wow, you guys had a sort of Margie-Bonnie moment there. And yet recovered so much more gracefully than I ever do. ;)

    Hugs, mama, I hope that coffee and deep breath helped.

  2. Kuky says:

    I’ve been there and know exactly how you feel. And it’s usually due to me not getting enough sleep. I think you resolved it nicely.

  3. Carrie says:

    Sounds like a really tough morning, but the great thing about kids is that they are so resilient. I tend to be a grudge holder and a dweller and Erik has really taught me that I don’t need to do that. I’m glad he’s not a grudge holder, or he’d never talk to me!

    Glad your afternoon is looking a lot better.

  4. Madge says:

    Maaaaan. I hate moments like that. HATE THEM. If it makes you feel any better, I can share a particularly ugly moment I had last night with all three of my girls.

    I’m glad you guys were able to turn it around.

  5. Erin H says:

    If only teachers at public schools could recover a situation like that, too. But unfortunately I think this is a homeschool only event- such a sweet way to get through work and move through feelings!

  6. jennybean says:

    Awww *hug* Sorry you had a rough morning. It sounds like you handled it well in the end, though, which will probably make a far more lasting impression on Annalie than anything you said or did in the heat of the moment. I hope you have a restful night and manage to get some much-needed sleep. That’s just the most frustrating thing, when your emotions are ultra-sensitive and you know its a result of external factors (lack of sleep, illness, pregnancy) but you can’t seem to equalise yourself and you know you’re getting upset by things that probablu wouldn’t faze you on any other day. I had a day like that today…not the pregnancy part obviously, but I can tick all the other boxes, hehe…

  7. Mrs. Wilson says:

    I hate days like that. But, the reconciliation part is pretty sweet. I think it’s good to have a big cry once in a while even though I HATE crying as well. It’s LAME.

    My temper has been VERY short lately and I always feel so bad for my girls when I completely overreact and yell at them. Sigh. Parenthood is HARD, especially when you’re sleep deprived.

    I’m glad you had a great evening though!! And I hope the baby holds out until Brenda and Bug get there!!

    *BIG HUG*

  8. Sam says:

    I love your mothering. I really do.

    It’s just so important, I think, to admit when we have bad days and ask for forgiveness. I think it must make quite an impression on our kids, and probably is an important part of their growing up, too.

    I do not envy you Braxton Hicks contractions! I’m hoping Miss Baby will stay put…

  9. Ashley says:

    I hate days like that, they’re so frustrating. For me it’s like my rational self and my emotional self aren’t on speaking terms and my emotional me always wins. I’m glad that Annalie fixed it and you felt better. It’s funny how kids can be the cause and the cure of so many things :)

  10. Bekah says:

    Oh, no! Sounds like you NEEDED custard! If I had known, I totally could have gone again! Thanks for coming out for some fun with us. XXOO

  11. Lauren H says:

    you have the patience of a saint. hope you’re feeling better now :)

  12. sarahgrace says:

    I am very familiar with times like these, but I am sorry to say, I don’t always recover from them nearly as well as you did. At the same time, sometimes it’s nice to know that I’m not the only parent who has their moments…

  13. karen says:

    Everything is harder to do when you’re so tired and having to be both mother and teacher to a disgruntled daughter and student on a day like that must be just awful! I’m glad you found peace in all your roles in the end and I hope inner baby lets you get some sleep!

  14. Shayne says:

    No problem :) Sorry you had such a crappy day, but glad it turned out okay in the end. This stuff happens to the best of mommas, let alone one who is super pregnant.

  15. Dana says:

    Sounds like someone earned a detention. :)

  16. Kassie says:

    This post is why I love your blog.