Yesterday afternoon I was sitting on the floor in a darkened bedroom at my Aunt Julie’s house, leaning uncomfortably against the side of a recliner. Annalie was lying on the bed on the other side of the chair. I wanted her to nap and had done everything I could think of to encourage her to drift off. She did not want to nap and was doing everything in her meager power to prevent herself from falling asleep. We had reached an impasse.

Now that Annalie is four years old she can get by without a nap most days. But there are still times when she needs the extra sleep, or when I need a break. Usually when I declare it to be a Nap Day, Annalie cooperates willingly enough. She might make some noise about not being tired but once we’ve read stories and I’ve tucked her in, she closes her eyes and goes to sleep.

Then there are days like yesterday. She was tired and really did need a nap, but we were at my aunt’s house and when we’re not at home it’s easier for Annalie to resist sleep. She was extra giggly and hyper and was yawning and rubbing her eyes when she wasn’t singing or flopping around on the bed. She did everything short of tap-dancing on the walls to keep herself awake.

Then there was the fact that yesterday I was tired. I desperately wanted to nap too but Annalie would not go to sleep. With every passing minute I grew more impatient and frustrated. And that’s how I ended up sitting on the floor on the other side of the recliner taking deep breaths. I was so close to losing my temper or crying or possibly running for the hills. I hate that feeling.

The stupid thing was—and I knew this even at the time—if I hadn’t been so tired I would have just read to her, sung her a song, and then left her alone with some books to look at and she probably would have been asleep in ten minutes. But when I’m tired I don’t think straight.

After an hour of epic struggle I declared a truce. I set up my laptop so she could watch the new Veggie Tales DVD and gave her strict instructions to watch quietly while I took a quick nap. Then my aunt came to the rescue (bless her!) and watched the movie with Annalie in another room so I could sleep.

Last night was more of the same. We did the usual away-from-home bedtime routine, and when Annalie hadn’t fallen asleep after I’d laid in bed with her for ten or fifteen minutes, I left the room hoping that would do the trick. But in the end, it took Annalie over an hour and a half to fall asleep in the dark bedroom with me sitting in the recliner with my laptop screen dimmed. I guess she just takes after me.

Yesterday’s sleep struggles are really just a blip on the radar. Usually Annalie goes to bed for naps and at night with much less drama, and in general Annalie and I have been having a great time lately spending time with friends and enjoying summer. I am laughing and rolling my eyes about the whole thing now. But yesterday, I was completely and utterly frustrated.

What’s frustrating you right now?

Meme from kc at aspenglow.net

. Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now:

1. I know you did the best you could. I wish I could have known you better.
2. You had an enormous positive effect on my life. Thank you!
3. You must have been a really sad, damaged kid to treat me the way you did. I hope you’ve found a way to be happy.
4. What we did was childish and cruel and I have felt bad about it ever since. I’m sorry.
5. I lost all respect for you when you gave me a grade I had not earned, even though it was in my favor.
6. You shouldn’t have pushed me to do something you knew I didn’t want to do.
7. Oh, grow up already.
8. Do you have any idea why we don’t talk anymore?
9. I just don’t understand what’s going on in your head and I am really worried about you.
10. For the first time since we met, you seem calm and ready to face a challenge. I am so glad.

Nine Things About Myself:

1. I’m pretty lazy when it comes to housework.
2. I’m not lazy at all when it comes to cooking elaborate dishes.
3. I like painting my toenails but colored polish on my fingernails bugs me.
4. I like jewelry but try not to buy much because I rarely wear it.
5. I’m an introvert with extraverted tendencies. If you were just meeting me you’d probably never guess the introvert part.
6. I’ve always wanted to learn to play guitar. I still plan to someday.
7. I’ve always been fascinated by drums, but have no desire to learn to play myself.
8. I am relieved but not really surprised that Annalie prefers movies like Madagascar and Surf’s Up and isn’t really interested in the Barbie movies. I never had much interest in Barbies as a kid either.
9. When I first saw Spongebob Squarepants I thought it was incredibly stupid and annoying. Now, I…kinda think it’s funny.

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:

1. Write to me—postcards, letters, emails, notes on a dry-erase board, whatever.
2. Laugh with me.
3. Don’t take things personally.
4. Be persistent. If I turn down an invitation it’s probably because I am a homebody and don’t want to leave the house that day. Please keep inviting me.
5. Don’t take much notice of what’s cool and uncool. Just like what you like because it appeals to you, whether or not anyone else agrees.
6. Disagree with me. I love a good discussion.
7. Be kind to others, regardless of their age or language or job…especially when they aren’t in the room to defend themselves.
8. Be a coffee drinker. I know, this one is shallow, but I can’t help it. I love it when someone is willing to sit and drink coffee with me while we chat.

Seven Things That Cross My Mind a Lot:

1. I really miss them.
2. My kid cracks me up!
3. Just one more minute.
4. Thank you, God.
5. Ooh, that sounds yummy. I wonder if I have all the ingredients?
6. I could do that, but…I don’t feel like leaving the house.
7. Where the heck did I leave my coffee?

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:

1. Check on Annalie.
2. Make sure the cats have food and water.
3. Make sure the doors are locked. (Though I only do this one if Troy isn’t home.)
4. Clean up the kitchen.
5. Brush my teeth.
6. Read.

Five People Who Mean a Lot:
Only five? Really? It goes without saying that this list is not all-inclusive, right?

1. Troy
2. Annalie
3. A. Erin
4. Heat
5. Brenda

Four Things You’re Wearing Right Now:

1. red t-shirt with a big sparkly ‘N’ (for Nebraska)
2. black cropped chinos
3. the usual underthings
4. the ring Troy gave me for our 10th anniversary

Three Songs That You Listen to Often (Currently):

1. “Something Crazy” by Steven Curtis Chapman
2. “Crazy ABC’s” by Barenaked Ladies (hmm, I sense a theme developing…)
3. “Why Do You Let Me Stay Here” by she&him

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die:

1. Visit Australia
2. Learn to play guitar

One Confession:

1. We’ve lived in this house for almost two months and there are still unpacked boxes in the living room, the library, our bedroom, the hall closet, the guest room, and the garage. Those last two are especially bad, with probably half of the available space filled with boxes. Anyone want to come help us unpack?

(There was originally something here about skipping school in 11th grade because I couldn’t think of anything better. Then the obvious confession smacked me in the face so I changed it.)

Annalie walked into the kitchen this afternoon with one of her babydolls in a little basket carrier and said, “Did you know that Cassie & Christa are visiting their grandparents? And Miss Bekah is out of town, and Jason has to go to work and be there for…for ONE HUNDRED days! So Miss Bekah asked me to watch Jack for her, and here he is!” She held up the babydoll. “She left him with me, because she knows I’ll take good care of him. And she left his diapers, and his baby food, and his toys, and his blankets, and all that kind of stuff.”

I asked her why she needed baby food, since Jack was two years old and ate regular food all the time, and she looked at me like I was an idiot and said, “Mom, I’m not really baby-sitting Jack. I’m just pretending.”