photograph everyone you cherish
February 14th, 2009
It’s hard to believe it’s been a year since Troy’s dad died. It seems like it was just the other day that Troy was calling him on the phone, that I shook my head and tried not to smile while Keith laughed uproariously at an awful joke he’d just told me, that Annalie was asking her Grandpa Keith if they could go feed the neighbor’s dogs some treats from the container they kept in their garage.
I’ve been looking through old photos and have realized something: I don’t have many photos of Keith. It’s not that he disliked having his photo taken, exactly; but he didn’t encourage it either. After Annalie was born I took more photos, but still not many. I think back now to the one Christmas we were all together in Omaha: Keith and Valetta, both of Troy’s sisters and brothers-in-law, Troy and me, and Annalie and her two cousins. For some reason I didn’t take many photos that day, and I truly regret it now. It would be nice to have even one photo of Keith with all of his grandkids. Not that the photo would make us miss Keith any less, but it would be something.
Next time I want to take some pictures but am feeling shy or afraid of appearing pushy, or someone’s telling me, “Point that thing somewhere else!” I’m going to try to remember that regret. Because someday I might want those photos to help me remember.
…When Casper said she was somewhere last weekend where “WAY too many photos were taken,” my heart creaked a little bit. There’s no such thing as too many photos!…
No one ever said, “There are just WAY too many photos of Nana before she died. If I have to look at ONE more picture of her laughing while she danced around the kitchen with Pop Pop, I’ll scream… ” They say, “I wish I had just *one* picture of her smiling. She hated having her picture taken.”
Photographs are the way you remain immortal to your family. Don’t cringe and pull away when someone wants to photograph you. (THAT’S what gives you the appearance of a double chin, by the way, the cringing and pulling back. No one is as fat as she imagines herself to be. Your chin is lovely, I promise.) Photograph everyone you cherish, and let them cherish you the same way.
Written by the unnamed “actual photojournalist-type person” who contributed some tips about appearing one’s best in photos to an August 2007 Advice Smackdown.
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That, my dear Bethany, deserves an AMEN!!
I’m usually quite shy around big crowds when it comes to picture taking, but when I went to Breakforth and saw an author I wanted a photo with, I finally bucked up and went and got said photo. I’m so glad I did! Because I’d totally have regretted it if I hadn’t.
Thank you.
Yes, yes, yes!
One thing Lauren and I learned when we started getting into photography was how to behave in front of the camera – and what that meant to the person behind the camera.
I agree! This post gave me chills, there’s something so quiet and reflective to sit and sift through photos, especially of those who are gone. Thanks for the reminder!
I’m guilty of that last part, I hate having my picture taken because I always think of how badly I look. My boyfriend is leaving a week from today for 5-month deployment and has no pictures of me for this reason. I feel guilty now. After reading this I’m going to be better in the future, if someone wants to take my picture I’ll just paste a big smile on my face and to hell with the consequences. Thanks!
So true.
If I can add one thing … the list of people you cherish should include people your kids cherish. I wish I had more photos of my teachers, neighbours, and childhood friends. I have promised myself that I’m going to be better at photographing the people in my children’s lives than my parents were.
What a great post! Since I started blogging, it’s been amazingly obvious how many pictures I am not in… since I’m usually the one behind the camera. I had a dream that I died the other night… quite traumatic, and I woke up thinking, I have to get in more pictures with my kids!!! Here’s to more pics! :-)
Dad was a hard one to get a picture of. Like you said, he didn’t exactly welcome it. I have a few but not many also and none with him and my kids. It is a huge regret for me! Thanks for posting, you have some nice ones of him.
What a great reminder, Bethany. It is so, so true!
Okay, it tok me awhile to find the website again, but it is: http://www.dayswithmyfather.com
It’s a heartwrenching story, but I think it covers exactly what you’re talking about here. Whenever someone rolls their eyes about me taking pictures, I remember THAT website. I saw it for the first time shortly after my much-loved and much-missed uncle passed away. Ever since, I’ve wished I took more pictures of him, so I look around at my life and try to take more pictures of the people I love as a result.
I’m so sorry for your family’s loss.
amen. amen. amen. :)
Glad you have the few photos that you do have, cherish them, print them off, save them in two places.
I went through the same thing last summer when my Uncle passed away. It would seem that he and I are rarely in photos as we were the ones taking them. I have a great one of the two of us (on film) that I will cherish forever.
This is such a good reminder. Every now and then I’m reminded of the importance in taking photos of our loved ones and memories, but I forget it way too quickly. My husband and I have so very few photos of the two of us together, I wish we had more so we could see our lives through the decades.
I prefer being the one behind the camera, but I also hate not being in photographs with my girls.
Lucky for me I have friends who are shutterbugs and will share photos with me. ;)
A great reminder. When I sifted through pictures from last year, I realized how little I do take of Thomas with his grandparents, etc., and resolved to take more! (And okay, maybe sometimes BE in some more!)
Good post. One of favourite photos is a snap shot of my dad holding me as a baby, he looks so relaxed and content and now he’s gone it means the world to me. I don’t have enough of my mother. She’s one of those ladies who is shy of the camera, although I do have a wonderful one of her taken unawares sitting in a boat reading a book with a big floppy hat on her head, which is so my mother. I’m taking a leaf out of your, Saj and cc’s books and beginning to take more photographs and not be shy of using my (newly found) camera.
Great reminder. It is so easy to allow that to happen. When I receently did a collage of our family members I was shocked at how few pictures I have of my mom! My own mother! She is one of those who hates to be photographed, but has been better about it in recent years.
True dat!