love to the power of awesome
August 7th, 2010
My friend Kassie wrote a blog post the other day about how much fun it’s been for her and Joe to hang out with some of their preteen and teenage relatives recently, which has reaffirmed their decision to have kids. She asked any parents reading her post to share the good stuff about having kids. I left a mile-long comment sharing my thoughts, and Kassie told me I should make it into its own blog post. Voila.
Before I share my parental dirt, let me say this: Of course whether or not to have kids is an intensely personal decision, and I firmly believe that anyone who doesn’t want kids should NOT have them. That said, and knowing and loving you and Joe as I do, I think you will be some of the best parents any kid could ask for, and that your kids will probably be some of the coolest, smartest, kindest, most fun people to ever walk the planet.
Being a parent is hard, yes. But I think you guys have been around your cousins and nephews (and honorary nieces and nephews) enough that you know about all the hard stuff. You’re prepared for it. You probably don’t get to hear about the good stuff nearly often enough.
On an episode of Frasier once he told Roz that the great thing about being a parent, the thing you don’t know till you have kids, is that you don’t just love your kids. You fall in love with them, too. And it’s so true.
The things like poop explosions and middle-of-the-night vomiting and constant worry about your child’s safety aren’t really a big deal. For some reason, when it’s your kid you’re dealing with, those things pale in comparison to the good stuff. It’s a little embarrassing—and totally liberating—how proud a grown adult can be about a baby’s smile or love of smushed peas or ability to do a thumbs-up.
Little kids say hilarious things on a regular basis, which has great entertainment value.
And older kids are the best! When I was a summer camp counselor, I remember being really nervous about my first cabin full of young teenagers. Would I be able to control them? Would they be too cool for me? Would they laugh at and/or ignore everything I said!? Of course that turned out to be my FAVORITE age to work with. Later in college I was a middle-school tutor for four years, and I loved that too. Teenagers can be a pain in the rear, sure, but so can toddlers and preschoolers. But teenagers are so awesome with their enthusiasm and fresh perspective on “grown-up” problems.
Having kids teaches you how to be selfless, how to put another person’s well-being and happiness above your own. And that can only be a good thing in this world, and for our own personal growth, right? Just today I had a pregnancy-hormone-driven RAGE-filled temper explosion that got directed at Annalie and made her cry for ten minutes. It sucked and made me feel awful. I never want to feel like that again; I never want to make another person feel like that again. But when it was over and Annalie came snuffling out of her room, she ran at me and wrapped her arms around me in such a big hug and whispered, “I’m sorry, mama. I know you’re having a bad day,” and my heart broke in two in a really fantastic way.
The love you feel for your kids really isn’t like anything else in the world. It’s like love to the power of awesome. If it could only be bottled and sprayed over the entire Middle East we’d probably have a lot fewer suicide bombings.
(Note that this is probably the corniest you will ever hear me get. I’m done now.)
(Italicized portion was originally a comment on the post Breeders at Bravely Obey.)
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Yep, you nailed it Bethany. Couldn’t have said it better. Also, I have found, that becoming a parent changed my relationship with my parents and other relatives in my family. I could understand their perspective on things as I was growing up, that never made any sense until I had my own kid. It was like an unexpected gift of parenthood.
This post just made me cry. It is so very true!
Wonderfully written and so perfectly illustrated too.
As I said before, just beautiful. I’m so glad you posted this for yourself. I just keep thinking “love to the power of awesome.” It’s like a little mantra for this whole process.
I really enjoyed that Bethany! You are a wonderful writer! (and a great mom too!)
That photo of Annalie in pigtails hugging Troy around the neck just made me melt. It’s pure cute.
Also…you just reminded me why I want to have kids some day.
Loved this post! Great Annalie pictures and beautiful thoughts.
My 2 cents: I feel like having kids has allowed me to understand much better how God feels about me and how well He knows me and this world and has my best interests at heart now that I have this overwhelming love for my children and have to say “no” to them sometimes to protect them.
Having kids also gives me an excuse to do fun kid things I might have otherwise forgotten about in my adult years – sledding, watching Mr. Rogers, playfully chasing, skating, rereading Charlotte’s Web and swinging on a sunny afternoon.
Thanks for the pleasant reminder!
I love that you wrote this. Kevin is really anxious to have kids and I swing back and forth on the subject. Mainly the reason I get scared is because the world is so connected now with Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc. and I hear so many HORROR stories from my friends about having kids. Sometimes it seems like those are the only things they share about having a family, and it makes me sad that is the legacy they are putting out as memories of their kids’ childhood.
But you always make me realize there are good things and that the good will outweigh the bad. You and Troy have such a great relationship with Annalie and the way you share your world with her and her world with yours… it’s truly inspiring to me. When we came to your house there was no ushering her away to make “grown up” time, we were all able to play some and be adults at the same time!
So thank you for posting this and thank you for always setting such a good example for me as to what parenting can bring.
I’m glad you posted this on your blog. I love how you titled it, love to the power of awesome. I totally agree. And I like seeing the pictures of Annalie younger.
You made me cry too :). Fabulous post … and the pic of Annalie in the pool in the rainboots … that’s cute to the power of awesome too!
I’m such a sap about kids now that I have one! You had me tearing up. But that was a great post and it was right on in several ways that I can already relate to, only 21 months into parenthood!
Jill made this point already: reading a lot of parents’ blogs you’d think having kids was a recipe for angst, frustration, worry, spectacular mess (well, OK, but not _every_ day), and general emotional disintegration. It took me a while to recognize that certain blogs were just not healthy for me to read, and I unsubscribed from those back when I was pregnant. This one is wholesome goodness though! :)
This was beautiful, it makes me feel even more excited for when that day gets here for me!!
hi bethany! thanks for commenting on my post! love this post and your whole blog! I’ll be checking it from now on :)
I couldn’t agree more. And two kids is the best because they really take care of each other even through the fighting. ;)
Brilliant, profound, and smiley…now I want it turned into a book. :)
I’ve totally done that hormone-induced rage thing at my kids and instantly regretted it and … oh, it’s horrible. Sorry you (and Annalie) had to experience that. Ugh.
I love this post. I’m TERRIFIED of the teenage years (luckily, one of my girls will be exiting them as one enters them) (yours too!).
Thank you for this!!
Being a parent Rocks. And when it doesn’t you just have to go to sleep and wake up the next day and it is a whole different day facing you.
I needed this today bc the parenting gig has been really difficult for me lately. But the good moments are unbelievably sweet.